For Jami

 

Mourning a friend.

Today it is time to share sadness, and in doing so, perhaps support one another. Yesterday morning I learned that my friend Jami Beck passed away unexpectedly on Thursday. Amazing, full of life, exuberant, delightful, Jami. I did not immediately share a personal Facebook post because I wanted to make sure that it was ok to share on Social Media. 

As I communicated with some friends about this devastating loss, I shared with and for them a few prayers and thoughts which come from my "Pastor Sylvia Mann" calling. This past year, I have had the honor and heart wrenching occasion to comfort a number of families in the loss of their loved ones, and officiate for their services. I am sharing some of those here today.

Here is one of the prayers:

Eternal God, who sends consolation to all sorrowing hearts, we turn to You for solace in this, our trying hour. Though bowed in grief as our loved one departs from our midst to enter into peace of life eternal, we reaffirm our faith in Your compassion and Your ever-present love. 

May we bear our sorrow with trustful hearts, and knowing You are near, may we not despair. Into Your hands we commend the spirit of our beloved. Body and soul are Yours, O God, and in Your presence we cast off fear and are at peace. "There is no death, what we call death. Is but surcease from strife; They do not die who we call dead, They go from life ... to Life." Amen

 

Whenever I guide people through a memorial service, there is a segment called a "Homily". It is a brief message for those gathered together. And so, here is a 

"HOMILY FOR JAMI"

 We are gathered together in the protective shelter of God’s healing love. We are free to grieve, to celebrate, to laugh and to cry. We can face our emptiness, and feel the fullness of the love of God. We gather to honor and to commend to God with thanksgiving the life of Jami as we celebrate the good news of Christ’s resurrection. For whether we live or die, we belong to Christ.

We are here to hold each other in comfort, compassion, condolence, and even in joy. Joy at having known her, and joy in being a part of each other’s lives.

Jami Nichole Beck, daughter of Kim and Janine (DeMers) Beck was born August 11, 1981, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota was a gift of love. Left to cherish her memory are her parents, Kim and Janine Beck of Sioux Falls; horses Tigger and Franny; and a host of additional family and friends.  She was preceded in death by her grandparents, Orville and Kaye Beck and Lawrence and Louise DeMers; and cousins, Justin DeMers and Kari DeMers.

As many of you know, I was privileged to be able to sometimes enjoy making music with Jami. She was a blessing to all of us.

I missed her when she traveled back to South Dakota, and, Sometimes when I thought that maybe we had lost touch, we were  brought together again. Jami enriched our community, and brightened all of our lives with her smile.

Jami’s life MATTERED, and it still matters. She touched so many, many people; and simply be being here she brought more love into the world. One life - so many ripples …we are all connected.

Let us pray together:

Holy God, whose ways and whose thoughts are not our thoughts, grant that your Holy Spirit may intercede for us with sighs too deep for words. Heal our wounded hearts. Through the veil of our tears and the silence of our emptiness, assure us again that ear has not heard, nor eye seen, nor human imagination envisioned what you have prepared for those who love you; Remind us that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen

Now – take a breath -

We are here for many different reasons - because we’ve lost someone special and want to celebrate and honor his memory…  So we all have something in common. We all love deeply, and hurt deeply because Jami is no longer here with us in the way to which we’d grown accustomed.

There is a reading I would like to share with you. A reading about that time when we move away from this plane, this existence. It’s from Job 19: 25-27

o   I know that my Redeemer lives, and at last will stand upon the earth; and after my body has wasted away, then without my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not as a stranger.

We’re also all here because we believe that life is more than this flimsy skin and bones. More than our imperfect earthly bodies. We’re all here because we believe that love extends beyond this physical being. We want to reconstruct, to re-member those who are no longer with us in their bodies.

As we are present with each other, we can find the inner strength that comes when we share something deep and meaningful and tender with others who are going through similar pain. One of the things we learn through this time, is the truth of the interconnectedness, the inter-relationship of all life.

In case you didn’t already know it, the emotions that come when somebody you love dies are not always recognizable as grief. Sometimes you feel disbelief. You may find yourself still looking for your loved one …and sometimes even “see” them in a crowd, or hear that wonderful voice. Sometimes you feel irritated or depressed or guilty. Sometimes, you feel numb, or even like you might be going crazy. Sometimes you may even feel hatred, betrayal, or a sense of abandonment.

Grief is like a tidal wave that picks you up and tosses you around and bumps you into unidentifiable surfaces, and then casts you out onto an unfamiliar beach, devastated. And just when you think you might be recovering, the wave sweeps over you again.

Sometimes you think that no one in the whole world, the whole, entire world, could ever have felt this kind of agony. And yet we’re all here, we’re all together, because we have all loved and lost and we are all suffering from it. We are connected in life and breath, to the entire universe.

And that - that means we’re not alone.

 So whatever you’re feeling right now, just notice it and allow it to be.

You’ve been through a lot. Love is all around us, in the disguise of all these feelings. All of these feelings you’re having since your loved one died are because you LOVE so deeply.

Today, let us recognize that we don’t hurt alone. We can allow ourselves time to share memories and tears with others who also know love and how it hurts. And we can cling to the assurance that as we re-member our Cillian by stating again how he lived and changed our lives JUST BY BEING, death will not have the final word.

As I close these remarks, let us pray once again…

We thank you, God, Great Creator, for your loving trust in us. In creation, you first clothed us in dignity; called us not things, but you beloved children, and said that we were very good. And you love us and promise never, never, never to leave us or disown us.

 

Today, in all of our frailty, sadness, and groping in this seeming darkness; in doubt, in love, in feeble hope, we stand in your presence—not lifted from what is human, but as we truly are: the work of your loving hands. We stand God-touched and frail, yet possessing the dignity that your acceptance of us and presence with us gives to us.

 

Give courage and faith to us in our sadness, that we may have strength to meet the days ahead in the comfort of a reasonable and holy and joyful hope of eternal reunion with those we love.

 

Help us, we pray, in the midst of the sting of brokenness and death, to believe and trust in your loving presence and forgiveness, in the goodness of true fellowship of others who believe, and in new life that springs from death.

 

We pray these things in adoration, gratitude, and awe.  Amen.

 

Here is a link to Jami's online obituary:

https://www.georgeboom.com/obituary/jami-beck?lud=19E42431BE94232B343EDEDFB77CD55D 

My prayers are with all of you. May Jami's memory be a blessing. 

Pastor Sylvia Lee Mann